musings of things

Did I know?

2010-05-11T15:57:00.000-07:00

Did I know you were there?
Did I know what you ponder?
Did I know what you see?
Did I know what you feel?
Did I know what you yearn?
Did I know what you give?
Did I know what you have?
Little did I know I'd crave,
The one thing I know
I can never have....You.

amused...

2010-05-11T15:49:00.001-07:00

Gently I tread away.
Quickly he follows suit.
Ignoring him would be bliss.
Taunting me was his wish.
Not interested was what I thought.
Why don't you talk?
Was his quip.
What do I offer you?
I retort quietly.
A messenger tells,
You need to seek and not hide.
I am just afraid its another deadend.
On my road to find the one.
Why don't I take a chance,
Even if it just means friendship.
I just can't seem to fathom that.
As I feel I'd fall deeper.
Now silence ensues with him.
Not a drop of sound around.
I bemuse the distance I laid,
Only to be amused
At the caricature I call love.

Word play...

2010-02-18T12:10:00.000-08:00

I contend with words
In a quiet shroud.
Yearning to be aloud,
Without any silent sound.
I sit with confound,
Of what has gone abound.
I remain unbound,
Not knowing how to turn around.
With an irreverent astound,
I take a look so profound,
of the past filled with confound.
Only to realize like a book misbound.
That actions I took expound,
The hypocrite in me so aground.
Has left me spellbound,
Only for me to cringe with pain
Realizing the hollowness of disdain.

'twas the past...

2010-01-29T20:27:00.000-08:00

Twas a year gone by.
She wondered silently.
Time flying quickly.
Memories fading quietly.
What shall remain?
Of what had passed.
You never think about it.
Said an old adage.
Her past was her baggage.
Unable for her to let go.
The good always flies by.
The bad rears its shadow.
The haunting shadow,
That doesn't dim with light,
That burns eternally in the dark.
Sparks of the afterglow,
Is felt at this very moment....
She keeps walking,
She keeps living.
She tries to change.
She plays the present.
But the rewind button,
Always in control.
Keeps pausing to the moments,
That can never be fast forwarded.
Heart of hearts she yearns,
To live in the present,
even with the shadow haunting.
Is there anybody to show the way?
Or is she just a lost soul,
Without an anchor in sight.
'Twas her past remains,
Even if a year goes by.

A sideway glance...

2010-01-21T16:52:00.003-08:00

He looked and smiled.
She peeked and frowned.
He would contact visually.
She would curse mentally.
He would accept her anger.
She would wish he disappear.
A daily ritual this became,
Till it was a habitual game.
No wins no gains,
No wounds no pains.
So the question belies,
What was this?
He was not a loser.
She was not a fool.
Both didn't take steps,
To go back or forth.
They just remained
In this static phase.
She thought ignoring helped.
He thought yearning helped.
A hard habit for both to lose,
A day came when
He became invisible.
That day she realized,
how much he was visible.
In the quagmire of life.
She looked everywhere,
Not a gaze towards her face.
The eyes she detested,
Were the ones she searched.
They held a truth,
That now she knew
What he meant..
Now all she could crave
Was the side way glance.
That promised her,
Drama and emotions
To become fully alive
In love once again.

the universe conspires....

2010-01-20T08:12:00.001-08:00

Hard to imagine,
What I think.
Every time I decide to quit.
I fall back into familiarity.
Every time I choose to hate them.
I turn back on my resolution.
As luck waves its wand,
The magic flows through.
The eyes fixate on someone.
You stare at that someone,
For a few seconds and
Feel tempted to take another glance.
I try to stop but,
The heart gets what
The mind doesn't want.
Is it an age specific weakness,
Or is it my penchant for unrequited charm,
Or is it my damn luck!
Matters worsen when a dear one
Adds fuel to the fire,
You say you are on earth,
But you can't help floating into a cloud.
You call it comedy,
But you really know its a dramedy.
Messenger keeps giving the subtext,
But I can't get the whole picture.
Quarter of a century gone by,
All my likings end up committed
To somebody thats not me.
How is this time any different?
Discouragement exists for the messenger,
But the blame lies with me,
I get carried away easily.
Matters of the heart,
Ain't my cup of tea.
But when I do get one,
It overrides my sanity.
Afterall its just a liking,
Whats the big deal?
The subtext I get.
favours me for the first time.
But do I take it with a salty pinch?
I try talking like a normal person,
But can't help myself walking on eggshells.
I joke and kid around in the conversations,
To get a lay of the land.
I yearn to learn more,
I digress half way.
Sporadic conversations,
Random vanishings without a bye,
I lose my fuse,
Even though its just a crush.
Oh! what have I gotten myself into.
All I know is the universe conspires,
To make me perspire,
For me to aspire,
An unrequited desire.

andipatti...arasupatti

2009-06-02T13:05:00.000-07:00

andipaati arasupatti enga ooru di
un dhagathukku vechirken thani ooru di

vaaripatti varisupatti pazhagi paaru da
nee pazhagiputta nanum pazhaya soru da
thedi papoma devakottaiyila
adi papoma arasukottaiyila
pazhagi papoma pattukottiaiyila
summa sulukku edupoma surakottaiyila

andipaati arasupati
andipaati arasupati...

ada unga veedum enga veedum
pakkam pakkam dhan
appo neeyum naanum thottu kitta
vekkam vekkam dhan
ada unga atha enga atha othu poganum
adi othukita mangatha adi pakanum
avan othukitala
illa orasi kitala
avan kanna pathalam
kowndhu putana-3

Mandhaiyila manga maram
adhu mamanar vecha maram
andha mangaiyiku asa pattu
Nan mamanar vechukitan
kurinjipatti karisupatti

Andipatti....
love love loveula love di-2
okka makka okkamakka
konga monga
silupu jikan

Namma ooru touring talkies kutitu poda
andha parisu pottu anumbothu kadala poduda
okka makka.okkamakka
yen pumpsettu oruthula othuka porendi
Oru biascope padam unakku katta porendi
Indha reel eduthuku da
Padatha poduda
Idaiveli illama
Indha show nadathata-3

Ada thinaiyila goya maram
adhu kolanthanar vecha maram
andha goyavuku asapattu
nan kolanthanar vechukittan

andipatti arasupatti...

who cares....

2009-05-20T21:37:00.001-07:00

Being in the doldrums,
Bad luck all around.
The track never changes.
Its cycle that keeps going.
Its like the gift that keeps giving.
Who brought this on?
Who cares.
You make your own destiny,
Mostly everyone gets it right.
Some never get it to make it.
Everybody laughs,
Flit and Flutter like butterflies,
and some just watch them afar.
But who cares anyway,
Everyone has problems,
They learn from it.
Some keeps having them
and never learn from it.
But who cares anyway.
Never preach to the masses
When you can't get things right.
Who cares if you live or die.
You are nothing just butt of the joke.
You are the laughing stock of fate.
But who cares anyway.
Its all a bloody illusion,
With an oxymoronic reality.

Black....

2009-05-11T14:54:00.000-07:00

I know what I did.
I know I can't change.
Thunder and Lightning.
They don't scare me.
The torrential downpour.
It doesn't bother me.
The flashbacks don't change,
The present remains the same.
The future remains hidden.
Words of wisdom afloat,
from people strangers to me.
I close my eyes and meditate,
They say you should see white.
But I can only see black.
It feels familiar,
Its like deja vu,
I recognize it,
So I know what to expect.
It may be black,
It keeps me safe.
For now the rain stops,
Being in this ebbing black.
I just wish I could fade away
With this calming black around me.

kyun hai...

2009-05-04T17:14:00.001-07:00

Kyun Gumsum Hai Zindagi.
Kyun Chupsi Hai Bandagi.
Kyun hua yeh dil ke lagi.
Kyun rooti hai dillagi.
Naa jaane kya deewangi,
Lubaye is khamoshi ko.
Vaade Jhoote,
Dosti Nakli.
Bas Rah Gayi Anjaani,
Is Ajnabi Duniya Mein.
Tanhaye Apnaya Mujhe.
Mayoosi Thama Mujhe.
Kyun Poora Lagta Hain?
Yeh Akelapan.
Koi tho Samjaye Na

Its anything....

2009-05-04T17:13:00.003-07:00

Its a whim.
Its a choice.
Its a fantasy.
Its a dream.
Its a story.
Its a song.
Its a sense.
Its a beauty.
Its a mystery.
Its a conundrum.
Its a state.
So many words to describe,
So many versions to know.
It all comes to one thing.
And thats love.
An enigma of sorts,
A surprise to many
Whats in store,
Nobody knows.
Just guesses
To find the way.
That always leads
To the answer in waiting.

A while @ subway....

2009-05-04T17:11:00.001-07:00

Waiting for the train
At the subway station.
Trying to count
away the minutes
till it arrives.
Reality goes really slow.
The wait prolonged
At last it did come.
Only a few minutes to enter.
With all the madding crowd flocking.
Invariably pushed into
some random door.
Then gazing around for a seat to sit.
The eyes doing its job locates one.
Settling down heaving a sigh.
Eyes not resting scans around.
To see the fellow passengers
And slowly setting its sight on one.
A face that just stands out for awhile.
With chocolate brown hair
and eyes to match.
With the Sun-kissed
tone of a skin color.
Never would've imagined
seeing something like this.
Messy hair parted one side.
A green shirt reading Hawaii worn.
Holding a novel engrossed in it .
Unaware of me staring
At him with subtlety.
Never once did the eyes
want to leave the sight.
The mind slowly curious
to see the novel's name.
Straining the neck
not wanting to be obvious
Hunts to learn the name.
"The way through the woods".
How apt for the situation?
As the eyes wanted to wander,
away from the woods of reality
to eventually find its way for a while
By looking at the face
that mirrored beauty.
The whole while
came to a slow end.
As the train came to
a screeching halt
Only for the face
to walk away.
Oblivious to the eyes watching,
Leaving a pleasant afterthought.
Thats always cherished forever.

kanave kalaiyathe

2009-05-04T17:09:00.001-07:00

Kanave kalayathe
Irave thungathe
Yen vanavil
Udhirthinta nirangal.
Un siripinile.
Yen Manadhil olikum
Solagal Un Perin Aksharangal.
Nee Yaru Endru Theriyamal
Unnai Theendinane.
Nan Yaru Endru Arindhal
Nan Ennai kodupane.
Un Iniya Solgal
Keka Virupam Inge.
Yen Vazhakai un vazhavil
Inayum Kalam Epodhu.
Anbe Anbe Yen Salabamam Neeye.
Vaanam Vaanam,
Yen Swargam Neeye.
Nan Vasikum Elam Nithiram,
Unadhu Chithirame.
Nee pesum andha thendralai
Yen Manadhil pooti vaithen.(kanave)
Meiyo Edhu Poiyo
Theriyamal Irundhen.
Vellai Edhu karupu
Ariyamal Irundhen.
Nan kanum Ellam Vanam.
Un Nizhale.
Nan pesum ellam varthai.
Un Mozhiye.
Yen manam padum sangeetham.
Nee Ezhthiya Raagam.
Yen manam thalatum,
Un kuzhandai ullam.
Un Mazhalai Punnagaiyil.
Yennai Mella Kavarndaye.
Yen Manam Indru,
Yen Vasam Illaye.
Kanave Kalaiyathe.
Irave thungathe.

Neeye...

2009-04-14T12:10:00.000-07:00

Tholaivile nee irundhaal,
En nizhalin kodai neeye.
Dhoorathil nee irundhaal.
En uyirin seviye neeye.
Yen kanavil kanden unnai.
Mugam dhan kanavilai.
Nijathil kavarndha aangal
Neeye endru ninaithen.
Adhu Elam poi agivitathu.
Nee Yaro enge irukaayo.
Kathirinthu kalangal polam.
Yen kanakal maraadhu.
Nee varum varaiyil,
Indha vazhakai oru palaivanam.
Nee nuzhaindhal oru nandhavanam.
Vinnaku oru Badhil neeye,
Andha badhilin porul neeye.
Thazhandha ponnaval naan,
Thalatum thendral neeye.
Nigazhum indha vazhakaiyil,
Malaarai nee vara vendum.
Yennai kondu aada vendum.
Neeye Neeye yen kanalan neeye.

For her....

2009-03-22T14:54:00.001-07:00

For her he was eye candy,
who'd just blow her off
Like a speckled dust in the wind.
For her he was unattainable,
who'd never look her way.
For her he was ignorant,
who'd never understand her.
For her he was a nice guy,
who'd give the obligatory smile
For her he was kind,
who'd just listen to her ramble.
For her he was considerate,
who'd give the benefit of the doubt.
For her he was sensitive,
who'd never hurt her.
For her he would be it,
if it was an alternate reality.
For her he was a rock,
who'd stand by her.
For her he was a hero,
who'd be always in her dreams.
What is going on here?
The game of hide and seek.
The game fate plays.
Two hearts yearning ,
But each hidden under a veil.
Both stand here and gaze,
Only the audience know
What is going on.
The silence between them
filled with so much meaning,
Where is cupid when you
Need him the most!!!

For him......

2009-03-16T23:09:00.000-07:00

For him she was a story,
who'd make him a hero.
For him she was a muse.
who'd make him an artist.
For him she was music,
who'd make him a maestro.
For him she was mystery.
who'd make him an enigma.
For him she was a riddle,
who'd make him a sleuth.
For him she was a pillar.
who'd make him grounded.
For him she was an antique,
Who'd make him unique.
For him she was a gem.
Who'd make him rich.
For him she was light.
who'd make him bright.
For him she was opposite,
who'd make him stymied.
For him she was anything but,
What he thought
was his ideal her.
For him she embodied,
The crux of his being.
She held his heart.
The question begets,
What was he to her?
To be contd....

adieu !!!

2009-03-12T17:10:00.001-07:00

Am I right,
or Am I wrong.
To question the subtlety,
That is on display.
Hard to imagine
That you could be,
The one so sensitive
Like a delicate cashmere.
Caring enough to put a thought,
As to who I am
and what I need.
You did everything right.
But the past rears its head,
Making me unconvinced.
The plans you always have,
With an attached motive.
You liked me so you said,
But you ended ditching me
For my Gucci loving friend.
All you wanted was a showpiece,
To prance around the elite,
Money was your language,
Emotions was mine.
I yearned honestly.
But you deserted deceitfully.
Turned me into an Ice queen,
who now fails to heed you.
Subtlety was not your forte,
So don't even bother my dear.
I am a story long ended for you.
Another sequel with me,
Ain't in the works for you.
So long farewell,
So Adieu adieu to you and you.

Ode to Waterfall...

2009-03-12T16:56:00.000-07:00

Cascades of bright white
Invisible flickers falling,
A sudden coolness
Humming on the face.
Making the eyes to close.
A pleasant aftershock,
Seeps through the skin.
Every drop disappearing,
into the great bluish abyss.
Sparkling with drops of the sun.
Flowing away without a hinder,
Adorning a forceful passion.
The sheer power blinding,
and yet so calm.
The wonders of nature
So far and wide,
I stand amazed
By the sight
In front of my eyes.
The great Niagara falls.

you and me.

2009-03-09T10:56:00.001-07:00

You and me
were meant to be
Somewhere in between
love and hate.
Sometimes I see
clear and bright,
Whats right in
front of my eyes.
Blind I can be
But spare me,
The lecture
Of being known
What you know
and I don't.