Black....

I know what I did.
I know I can't change.
Thunder and Lightning.
They don't scare me.
The torrential downpour.
It doesn't bother me.
The flashbacks don't change,
The present remains the same.
The future remains hidden.
Words of wisdom afloat,
from people strangers to me.
I close my eyes and meditate,
They say you should see white.
But I can only see black.
It feels familiar,
Its like deja vu,
I recognize it,
So I know what to expect.
It may be black,
It keeps me safe.
For now the rain stops,
Being in this ebbing black.
I just wish I could fade away
With this calming black around me.