the universe conspires....

Hard to imagine,
What I think.
Every time I decide to quit.
I fall back into familiarity.
Every time I choose to hate them.
I turn back on my resolution.
As luck waves its wand,
The magic flows through.
The eyes fixate on someone.
You stare at that someone,
For a few seconds and
Feel tempted to take another glance.
I try to stop but,
The heart gets what
The mind doesn't want.
Is it an age specific weakness,
Or is it my penchant for unrequited charm,
Or is it my damn luck!
Matters worsen when a dear one
Adds fuel to the fire,
You say you are on earth,
But you can't help floating into a cloud.
You call it comedy,
But you really know its a dramedy.
Messenger keeps giving the subtext,
But I can't get the whole picture.
Quarter of a century gone by,
All my likings end up committed
To somebody thats not me.
How is this time any different?
Discouragement exists for the messenger,
But the blame lies with me,
I get carried away easily.
Matters of the heart,
Ain't my cup of tea.
But when I do get one,
It overrides my sanity.
Afterall its just a liking,
Whats the big deal?
The subtext I get.
favours me for the first time.
But do I take it with a salty pinch?
I try talking like a normal person,
But can't help myself walking on eggshells.
I joke and kid around in the conversations,
To get a lay of the land.
I yearn to learn more,
I digress half way.
Sporadic conversations,
Random vanishings without a bye,
I lose my fuse,
Even though its just a crush.
Oh! what have I gotten myself into.
All I know is the universe conspires,
To make me perspire,
For me to aspire,
An unrequited desire.